So on my last daily post I said that the sharp pain was going away. I guess I was wrong. Today was very rough.

I’m feeling very lonely. I know that I have all of my online friends, but I feel like I’m still missing out on something. Matt goes out for lunch or dinner or both with people that are staying in the hotel with him and he seems to be having a good time. I’m happy for him. I sit at home still. I thought I would get out more, and I’ve been trying to. Socializing the other night was fun, playing games with Janelle and Lauren was a ton of fun. But I still feel like I’ll never really fit in anywhere.

Now it’s really great, because I won’t be able to go out during the day. Matt’s dad has decided that my car gets to stay at the top of the driveway. Meaning in order to go anywhere I’ll have to either move the other cars out of the driveway or else have someone move them for me. What a waste. I mean, they can drive each other’s cars (Matt’s parents, I mean) but I can’t, obviously. So yeah, parking on the street makes more sense for me. Oh well. I know it’s stupid and I’m probably overreacting but that’s the mood I’m in today.

Anyway, I’m hungry. Again. So I think I’m going to go get some food. Hopefully Matt’s feeling comforting and love-y when he comes back - I could use some sweetness in my life right now. I hate being alone. I really do. I know that I drive him crazy and honestly, I’m surprised he’s put up with me for this long. Hopefully, HOPEFULLY, he notices a change in me. Even a little one. I’m really trying.