All questions that I also wish I new the answer to. Joe will tell me all the time how pretty I look and I usually just roll my eyes and mutter and unsincere, “thanks”.

People try and make it sound so easy to just start loving yourself, but they don’t ever say HOW.

By Leesha on 05.19.07 1:41 pm | Permalink

You know, my fiance is the same way. When I first met him, he had just be told by a doctor that he was obese and needed to lose way if he wanted to live. Not because he was that overwieght but because he’s a) big boned and b) has sleap apnea.

I made it a point to always compliment him and give him praise for doing what -he- thought he needed to do concerning his weight. He’s gotten down pretty slim now that he’s in the Army, but he still feels “fat.”

But I do know for a fact that he’s starting to believe me when I tell him I love him the way he is and that he’s handsome. I think that when you hear people compliment you often enough and make a promise to yourself to TRY to take to heart what is said in all sincerity, you slowly start to believe it yourself. Instead of rolling your eyes or immediately dismissing compliments or reassurance from people around, make yourself try to believe it, make yourself consider that logically, if so many people say these things to you, than it MUST be true.

Don’t just rely on what people tell you. find qualities in you that you love. Tell yourself you are a great person becaue of these qualities. And despite what you’ve forced yourself to think over time, that these qualities are what make you special and so does your image because NO ONE else looks like you. You are unique, fierce, and an individual.

I used to have major self esteem problems, I started keeping two seperate written journals, one was strictly for good events, happy thoughts, recording compliments I received and the other was for any negative energy. When the negative journal got full, it got burned in a trashcan, but when the other was full, it got placed neatly on my bookshelf. Going back on these journals always reminds me that despite things I think about myself, what other people say, or things that happen, I AM A GOOD PERSON and I AM PRETTY and I AM LOVED. And that’s all I need to feel 100x better when I get down.

For some people, talking to themselves in the mirror (ONLY PRAISE) helps. Start small. Compliment yourself on your eyeshadow, the way you plucked your eyebrows, a great hair day. Slowly you’ll start to see a much prettier and happier you in that mirror.

It’s not an easy process at all, and it’s not a quick fix. It’s taken the fiance over three years to get to where he -sometimes- says “Thank you, baby.” when I compliment him instead of dismissing me. Eventually, you will start learning to love yourself again.

(/end of novel)

By Kenna on 05.20.07 3:14 am | Permalink

Ah, I wish I knew what to tell you, but unfortunately I feel the same way.

By Caitlin on 05.20.07 9:42 am | Permalink

I don’t know if you really know what you’re asking for with self love, you may end up like me, and nobody wants anyone to end up like me.

By Faith Bowie on 05.20.07 3:07 pm | Permalink