Making the most of the heat.
July 28th, 2007 @ 4:21 pm

I’ve decided that going out is important, even if it is by myself. So, I went to the lake today and laid out on the beach! It was a bit weird, alone, but it felt nice anyway. So nice, in fact, that I intend to go back many times! I still have a month of hot days left, right? If not more! So yeah. The more I get out, the better I’ll feel. I hope.

Speaking of going alone… I suppose I should preface this with something. I love my online and offline friends. I love you all, very much. You’re all fantastic people, and I’d be crazy if it weren’t for you!

That said… I’m going through a bit of a rough patch in my life. It’s like a pre-mid-life crisis or something. I’m at an awkward age. Everyone speaks of awkward ages like it’s the years you go through puberty, but this one feels much more awkward to me than I did then. Everyone who knows me well knows that my baby fever is insatiable. But I can’t get away from all things baby! All my friends have children, and people online have children, and I swear if I didn’t know better, I’d think there is not one woman my age that is baby-less at the moment.

Now this isn’t meant to offend anyone, but I need to get it off my chest. I just have a hard time dealing with trying to find excitement and happiness while being childless when in my face constantly there’s the reminders of what a joy it is to be a mother. I’m so happy that all my friends have this joy, and I support them fully. I just think I need to figure out how to meet people more like me, who already know how to enjoy their time without constantly thinking BABY BABY BABY.

This isn’t being said because I intend to cut anyone out of my life. It’s not being said to hurt anyone’s feelings, or object to anyone’s life decisions. I just wanted to give an explanation as to why I have been (and possibly will continue to be) so distant lately. It’s nothing personal.

101 in 1001 · Anxiety · Baby Fever · Beach · Decisions · Depression · Friends · Home · Lifestyle · Lonely · Personal · Socializing · Swimming · Weather

2 Comments

  1. Lucy
    said,

    July 29, 2007 at 7:47 pm

    I’m trying to get over my own “I want a baby now!” phase. It seems everywhere I turn, someone is either pregnant or has a baby in their arms. I always pass by the very trendy store in the mall for expecting mothers, and I find that I want to go in there and buy things, even though I’m nowhere close to being pregnant. I won’t be married until next year, so trying now for a baby is out of the question. I still can’t get the itch for having a baby out, though. It’s tough. I’m taking a summer class on child development (I’m an education major) and even the dreadful, and very painful discussion on the birth of the child didn’t exactly manage to deter me in any way. I was a bit daunted at first, after all, who wouldn’t be scared of hearing other people’s horror stories of how their baby nearly ripped them apart? But I decided that I still want a baby very badly. If you find anything that works, let me know!

  2. Zi
    said,

    July 30, 2007 at 7:38 am

    I’m in a somewhat similar phase right now. I’m not in a ‘baby craze’ so to speak, but I definitely would like kids and some days I just yearn to be pregnant, while other days I seem to be ok. When I have those days were I feel like I’m missing out on the family thing, I just try to think of the things I can do without kids - i.e. I can go on trips whenever I want and don’t have to arrange for babysitting or carry along a HUGE bag filled with everything for a baby; I can do what I want when I come home from work etc.

    Maybe that’s kind of selfish of me (?) but it’s what works in my case. I know that one day I’ll have that family, but for now I just try to focus on what we can do

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