I seriously have some fantastic friends. I probably knew that all along, but it takes a night like tonight to really rub that fact in. Tonight was a rough night in WoW, and stacking that with the immigration nerves and other mental… issues that I was having tonight made me absolutely freak out. I cried for about four hours straight, then that turned into a full-blown anxiety attack, and I couldn’t take it. I talked to Stacy for a while, who calmed me down. (Thank you sweetie! ♥) After that, I talked to another Stacey, who helped me come up with a possible solution to my lack of purpose: volunteering.

Now, I’ve been suggested that before, but not by anyone who could actually give me concrete facts about any of it. This time, though, I’ve been given an idea of a place to volunteer, and proof that people volunteer there without it affecting their immigration status. Those are two very important things to me, because I wouldn’t know where to begin otherwise.

I’m just so tired of not having a purpose in my life. So many people are so quick to say “Oh, you’re so lucky, you don’t have to do anything” and they’re wrong. I wish I was able to work. I miss getting up in the morning with a plan. I thrive on structure and life around me and lately I have neither, and so I need to fix that. I’ll be a better friend, a better wife, and a better person if I help improve the world around myself instead of just… existing in it. I’m tired of just existing.