We’ve got an ant problem. After over a year of living here with no problem whatsoever, we suddenly have armies of little black ants running back and forth along our walls. I’ll be buying some Raid and ant traps tonight when I go to the gym, but in the meantime I keep thinking about how it must signify my failings as a housewife. I mean, if I kept my house clean, I wouldn’t have ants, right? I must just not be good enough.

In the meantime, I’m having a hard time functioning. I know they’re harmless but they CRAWL. CRAWL! Can you imagine? They’re on the floor… what if they crawl up on my foot? Now, when I say armies of ants, I mean probably 10 at the most visible at any time. It’s not like we have hundreds upon hundreds everywhere - and typing that sentence made me look around the room for the sign of creepy crawlies. Ick.

Sigh. Someone tell me I’m not a failed housewife?