Words Unspoken|Today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten.

I quite like this theme. It’s roomy without being overbearing and there’s enough space for everything I want. I feel a bit weird about not having a links bar in the header but to be honest, it’s a good change. I weeded out a few useless links and made a little paragraph about me, and whatever I could fit into that comfortably, I left and linked.

I’ve been playing a lot of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass lately. It was one of the anniversary gifts I got! I’m a HUGE Zelda fan, way back to the NES days, so I’m enjoying it. I have to say that they’ve done an incredibly good job at integrating the touch screen and all of the features the DS has to offer. They’ve done it in a creative way, that has me saying “Oh my goodness, that’s so freaking cool” no less than twice a day when I’m playing it.

The other game I got isn’t so much of a game, but I can say I definitely enjoy it. It’s My Weight Loss Coach and it’s so incredibly cute. There’s a little stick figure on my screen patting me on the back for everything good that I do. They’ve taken advantage of the fact that you can plug in GBA games at the same time as DS games, and made a pedometer that syncs with your game by plugging it into the GBA slot. It’s almost a light-weight approach to weight loss. They give me six challenges per day (no more!) that range from “Do X amount of sit-ups” to “Over the next twenty-four hours, put your salt shaker in the cabinet and leave it there” and if you don’t finish a challenge, instead of beating you over the head with it, they say that there’s no harm in taking easier challenges first.

Speaking of weight loss, I’m pretty sure I won’t be renewing my gym membership for the next year. Don’t get me wrong, I loved going - when I’d go. Because it involved either walking (made difficult by shin splints) or driving there, I’d make excuses not to go. Once the shininess wore off, I was able to justify not going and it didn’t help. Not to mention I’d get there and I’d already be tired, so I would only do a small workout. I lost ten pounds last summer working out at home, and gained it back and ten more while at the gym. While I’m pretty sure there’s a medical reason behind my constant gain and failure to lose, I know that something’s not right when I’m paying bi-weekly for something that isn’t working for me. I figure I’ll work out at home and focus on getting the most I can out of it, and once I’m back on track and have picked up momentum, I’ll consider going back to the gym. That money could be used for better (or more fun!) things. Besides, one of the main reasons for joining was because it’s a social atmosphere, and I’m not getting the social vibe.

So that’s my life lately in a nutshell. I’ve also purchased a new planner, but I’ll be writing more about that in another entry that’s in the making. It’s a planner; it’s like a child to me! I couldn’t just leave it as a footnote!

4,099 hours. That’s how long I have spent, in total, in World of Warcraft. I’m sure everyone’s thinking “Wow, that’s a large number, she must be embarrassed!” but you know what? I’m not. There was a point where I felt like I should be ashamed of that number, but not anymore. Here’s why.

Most people automatically assume that once you play a game like that, and you play it a lot, that you’re “addicted” to it. I’m not. I’m sure there are people out there who are. People are capable of being addicted to absolutely anything in this world. Personally? I can step away from the game at any time and enjoy other things. Other games, movies, TV shows, time with my husband, time with my cat, exercise, shopping… All kinds of things, and not necessarily in that order.

I have a friend that’s gotten an even harder time for playing World of Warcraft than I have. She’s had people tell her that she’s a bad parent because she plays, she’s had people blame her other problems in life on the fact that she plays, and yet people don’t take a minute to think that maybe, just maybe, it’s her only time to herself. She doesn’t know a lot of people around where she lives, so she doesn’t get out often, and when she logs in the game, she’s got hundreds of friends at the touch of a button.

Of course, some people are very quick to say that these friends aren’t “real” friends, but I beg to differ. A few of my very best friends have been met through this game. To be honest, I met my husband in a different game, so there’s validation right there. But since we’re talking about World of Warcraft, and World of Warcraft alone here, I’ll stay on topic. There have been nights that I have had complete panic attacks about my future and what’s to be expected and the things I’m going through. These friends sit and talk to me while I worry, rationalize with me, and make me feel better. I don’t have someone I can just call to get that kind of support.

You can feel like an outcast in World of Warcraft just as easily as you can in real life. There are high-school-style cliques and there are generally elitist people wandering around, just waiting to attack your gear, or your play style. However, these people are few and far between. A while ago, shortly after the Burning Crusade (the expansion, for those of you who don’t play) came out, I was very frustrated. I played a holy/discipline priest and was tired of healing my way through instances. I got burnt out on the game, even though I was on my way to 70, and took a couple months off at 67. I played other games in the meantime and spent time dealing with real life personal issues, but I felt lonely (that’s what happens when you’re still “new” in town, obviously) and went back. I decided to respec my priest to shadow and not worry about what was going on with other people.

Once I hit 70, I had a group that was more than happy to take me in and work with me, while I learned to really play the class/spec and kinda fumbled my way through gearing up and trying new things. Things happened in the guild we were a part of, and eventually our leadership broke off and formed a new guild, and I knew I was going to leave. I’ve had trouble leaving guilds before because of guilt and the feeling of personal obligation, but this time I was sure it was for the best. I was right! In a short time, we’ve accomplished amazing things with a very casual raiding schedule, and it’s a group that I am proud to be a part of. The people are friendly, and we’re honestly like a little family, as cheesy as it sounds. There are disagreements and there are tough times, but we pull past it and just get stronger and stronger.

So tell me, what makes this game so bad? Why is it the subject of so many people ready to attack the people who play it? Why are we considered the ones with “no lives” or the ones who are “addicted” to our computers? I could spend two nights a week with friends out in the “real world” playing poker, or I can spend two nights a week on the computer with friends all over the world, playing something that, to me, is infinitely more entertaining. What’s wrong with that?

I’m no stranger to unusual dreams. Last night’s wasn’t unusual by anyone’s standards, except for the fact that it proves just how much of a nerd I really am.

That’s right, ladies and gentleman, I dreamed about getting a Wrath of the Lich King beta invite.

I dreamed that I had one, but it expired somehow, so I didn’t get to use it. I guess I didn’t realize I had it or something. So I went through all of this other procedure trying to convince “them” (Who were they, anyway? I guess Blizzard employees?) that I should get another one. While the beta invite wasn’t the strangest part of the dream, it’s certainly the most revealing.

However, some of you would probably like to know the more noteworthy points of the dream, so here they are, in list form.

• Giant black robot walking around with cameras in the bottom of its feet so it didn’t step on people.
• Big huge swimming pool that had no ladders to get in or out of.
• Lines for the bathroom that were so long that we got in the car to drive somewhere else.

Alright, off to perform housewifely duties, since Matt’s mom is coming home tomorrow and we can’t have her coming home to a messy apartment, can we?

I spent my day at the library today. I know this sounds like a boring thing for most people, but for me, it’s like my own little slice of Heaven. I don’t care if the kids are loud - mind you, they were very loud today, and running on tables. I don’t care of people look at me funny. I don’t care about any of these things, as long as I get to be around things I care about - books! I know this might come as a surprise as I don’t mention it often, but I love books. I’ve been an avid reader since I was two. Yes, two. I was reading books and even parts of the newspaper as a toddler. Funny story, actually. My grandparents are always glad to tell it. I used to walk around with I Can Fly in my hand, reading it to anyone that would listen. They were so convinced I had memorized the words, but I kept telling them I was reading it. They finally believed me when they took the book and gave me a newspaper instead!

Anyway, back to the library. I spent all day there, looking at books. I took two out at one point in the morning, probably around noon if I had to guess. I went back and found about five more I wanted, so I decided to take those out as well! Went up to the self-scanner thing, put my library card under it, and what does it say? “Please visit the circulation desk to check out your books.” I’m thinking this must be some sort of fraud thing, since I’d already checked out books during that day, so I walk on up to the desk and explain that to the woman behind the counter. The next words out of her mouth crushed me, though: “Your card only allows you to check two out at a time.” Wait, WHAT? Two at a time? I have seven delicious books in my hand just waiting to be read, and I can only have two?

Thankfully, I was able to skim through a few of them before Matt came to pick me up and make a list of the ones I wanted for next time, so I know what to get out. I’m going to try to get my card up to “regular” status instead of this weird limited one. I think if I bring my temporary resident paper they’ll see my address and hey, it’s from the government! If not, I’ll have to get Matt to go back to get a new one, as he seems to have lost his, unfortunately. On the bright side, while hunting for his card (with no luck, of course) I came across a few letters and cards that we can add to our immigration pile for “proof” of our relationship. It still terrifies me that I’m putting my marriage in the hands of someone that I have never met, but I guess it’s a risk I have to take, since I’ve fallen in love with a Canadian man!

I’ve done more research on hypothyroidism over the past few days, and the more I read the more I realize that this has to be my problem. Once I have health care I think I’m going to go in to get it checked out, because it’ll be much better to know and have it treated. How amazing would it be if after struggling with anxiety, depression and weight gain (amongst other things, though those three are the most visible symptoms for me) that I would find out that none of it is my “fault” and that it can be treated? I’d be super relieved, not to mention the fact that perhaps for once my hard work when it comes to healthy eating and working out might actually finally pay off. I’m so over being fat and depressed.

I’m installing the Sims 2 right now. I uninstalled it because my previous installation was a mess - all random folders and tainted with custom content that didn’t work, and extra files in the game. It’ll be nice to have a clean slate to play on! I just hope I can have self-control and, oh, I don’t know, organization when it comes to custom content this time. No sense in messing up the game again. Especially not with this many installations, as they’d take forever to wade through and reinstall, like they are now!

Anyway, I believe I’m going to finish these installations and head to bed to watch some Spongebob (Hey, what can I say? I love the little yellow guy!) and read French Women Don’t Get Fat. I hope everyone has a wonderful night!

So much to talk about that it’s hard to know where to begin, so I guess the beginning would be a good start. So let’s see…

Woke up around 10:30 or so and confirmed my appointment for tomorrow. Scared out of my mind for the blood work because, let’s face it, who wants giant needles in their arm? Oh, well, though. A bit later, Katie (Matt’s brother’s fiancee, and a good friend of mine) called me to let me know that she’d be over to pick me up in a little while. I got dressed, emailed with my mom, and headed downstairs to wait.

Katie and I headed back to her place, where we sat around for a bit, mopped her kitchen floor, and chatted while playing with her daughter (my niece), Lannah. We went looking for Matt’s cousin to see if she’d watch Lannah while we went to the gym, but she wasn’t home. However, we saw a much more disturbing sight on the way to her place. We pulled onto a small side road and saw a boy (around 13 or so) on the ground with three boys on top of him, kicking and punching him while he flailed around. We locked our doors and rolled up our windows (I don’t care if they were 13, we weren’t taking any chances, as they were obviously not friendly to begin with) and as we were pulling into the parking lot we saw one of the boys’ faces - it turns out it was Matt’s cousin’s son. The son of the woman we were going to go find. I believe Katie’s going to talk to his mother later, and since we had no way of getting ahold of the police or anything and since the boys fled the scene, we couldn’t really do anything. I can honestly say it was scary though. I can’t imagine what young boys would have to fight that much about, really.

Anyway, Katie found a sitter for Lannah around 3:30ish and we headed out to the gym. I had my four photos taken for my medical tomorrow while Katie ran to the bank, and then we headed up and she had her orientation for the gym while I wandered around with them. Then we did a bit of cardio warm-up on the bike, the weight circuit, and then 5 minutes on the treadmill. We decided to stop there so we’re not too sore for the next couple days, and we’re going to go back Friday. I think having her around will really help my motivation, and I hope I can do the same for her!

After that, we decided to go swimming (even though the sun and heat and humidity had all but disappeared by this point) so she took me back to my apartment so I could put on my swimsuit and grab a towel, and we headed out to the lake. We swam for about a half hour, in ice cold water, talking about how we’d waited a year to do this again. Regardless of how cold it was, it felt fantastic and I think it was a great way to relax my muscles down after a nice workout.

After this, I came home and made BLTs with Matt, played some EQ2, and am sitting here just relaxing. Tomorrow, I’m going to clean up the apartment during the day, and then head out to the doctor for my medical, and then the hospital for my X-rays and blood work. All in all, it was a great day. Summer’s officially here!