I’ve upgraded Wordpress finally! I was putting off doing it because I was afraid that I’d screw up my entire site and lose the past three years of work, but it’s here and working and doing awesome, all thanks to Matt!

I’ve been trying to keep myself busy lately. I still have so much cleaning to do in the bedroom that it’s ridiculous. Maybe I’ll do that after this post. Who knows!

My brain is a bit all over the place, so this entry will be, too! Maybe if I do it in a list format it’ll be easier. Let’s see…

• My birthday is coming up! Believe it or not, I totally forgot how old I was turning the other day. I was like “Oh, look, I’ll be 24 in X days… wait… that doesn’t sound right…” I had to add up the years to figure it out. Is dementia setting in already? I sure hope not. 23 isn’t nearly old enough to lose my memory!
• I’ve dug my iPAQ out of hiding for the first time in about a year. I’ve been using it a lot, but am disappointed in it for two reasons.
  • Nobody seems to make software (free software, that is) for this old version of Windows Mobile, so there’s not a lot I can put on it. I forget where I used to find all of the old software that I had on it, so I can’t go back and find it!
  • My high-capacity SD card isn’t recognized by it, and my regular SD card is only 128mb, so I can’t put videos on it like I’d hoped and watch them while I’m at the gym (or in the tub!). Boo!
• I burned 1300 calories today with my workout. No joke. I walked to the gym (about a mile), then did weights (about half my usual circuit) then biked a mile on the stationery bike. Then I took two classes: Body Flow (the tai chi/yoga/pilates class) and Body Attack, which is a very fast-paced high impact cardio class. After that, as much as I dreaded it at this point, I made the long (a mile, remember?) trek home, where I promptly sat in my chair and wanted to sleep! It was worth it though. More days like these and I’ll look better than ever before long!
• I updated a TON of pictures to my Flickr yesterday from a trip we took ten days ago (whoops!) to Bridgewater. It was a gorgeous drive there and back, and I’m glad I took the camera (and extra batteries!).
• I’ve suggested to Jane that we do what I mentioned in the blog entry before this, for the Sex and the City movie. I don’t want to just make it “just another trip to the movies” - I’ve been waiting a few years for the movie and the characters, as stupid as this sounds, are like close friends! To quote Miranda, “It is a big fucking deal!” So hopefully we can make a bigger deal out of it than any other movie I’ve went to see.
• Speaking of Jane, we’re going to get together sometime this week and go downtown and have a lunch and walk around taking photos and stuff. I’m looking so forward to it! The weather is just starting to get nice and people are out and about. It should be fun!

So there’s my life lately in a nutshell. A whirlwind of events, but I love it!

It’s the very beginning of a new year, which for a lot of people means a fresh start. Matt thinks it’s nothing different than another day, but for me, I think it’s a perfect chance to reclaim my life. I made a lot of mistakes in the past year, which I’m not going to go into here. But now is the time for me to have a clean slate, a new beginning, and a fresh start.

Could I be any cheesier? Probably not. But that’s okay. Nobody said I can’t be cheesy on here!

I have a lot of things that I want to start doing. Now that I’ve had a couple weeks off from the gym, I’m going to start going regularly again. I’ve done it before, and then I let my depression get the best of me and found every possible excuse that I could. Yes, I was sore. No, I didn’t have a key. But that shouldn’t have stopped me. I should just go and do it because it’s what I need to do.

I’m going to stop biting my nails. This has been a bad habit of mine for as long as I can remember. I currently have two fingers on my right hand with long-ish nails, and I hope the rest will catch up to them instead of giving up on me.

I’m going to keep drinking as much water as I have been, which won’t be hard. I will start eating more meals in the day again, because I’ve stopped eating regularly again.

The last thing is a bit strange, but I know my friends will understand if they know me well enough. I’m going to spend more time being a functional human being. Instead of rolling out of bed and hopping on the computer, I’m going to get up, have a cup of tea and/or some breakfast, and change OUT of my pajamas. I got a few new pairs for Christmas and it dawned on me - that’s pretty much all I wear. I shower, I shave, I brush my teeth, but I don’t wear my jeans or nice tops. I don’t usually do my hair or makeup, either. Think what you will, but it’s just the way I’ve been lately.

All of these things about me are things that will be hard to stick with, but things I need to do for myself. I’m done hiding in my little shell here, done with not living my life in the way I need to!

Anyway, with all that said, I’m out of here. Going to go hang out with Matt’s siblings. Just because it’s after midnight doesn’t mean new year’s eve can’t be fun, right?

I know I’ve been slacking on posting lately, but trust me, one of my “resolutions” (mostly just because I want a clear date to start on) is to start posting more. But you get that tomorrow. As of today, you get me wishing you all a fantastic New Year’s Eve, wherever you’ll be and whatever you’ll be doing!

Sadly, I think I’m going to be home alone, but I’ll have my awesome friends online to hang out with, so life will be good anyway!

What are you all doing?

I think it’s insane, really. It’s crazy that Christmas takes so long and so much effort to prepare for, and then it’s just a few hours. But it was so worth it in those few hours! I had a great Christmas, personally. I’m not going to go into all that I got as presents, because I don’t see a need to, but I’m happy because I got to spend time with Matt and his family, and had a good time. I loved seeing the look on everyone’s faces when they opened their gifts. It was awesome knowing that we made them all smile!

Do you ever have those really strange moments of clarity when you realize that everything’ll be okay, because it has to be okay? I feel like I’m walking around in a daze right now, but honestly, everything is okay. I have problems and worries and things that make me terrified, but really, things will be okay. It doesn’t matter what happens, things will be okay. I have the most awesome husband, and his family has been so good to me. I have fantastic friends, and they’ve been there for me when I need them.

Speaking of friends, I’ve come to a conclusion lately. People might give me a hard time for spending time on the computer and playing games, but really, if I enjoy it, who cares? My friends are in the games I play, and they play them too, so why would I sacrifice spending time with awesome people like them just for the chance to leave my apartment? Of course, I still want to go out every once in a while, but why do I need better friends than I already have? Just because they’re far away doesn’t make them any less awesome.

As it’s now 4:30 in the morning over here, I wanted to make a quick post saying Merry Christmas to everyone who reads. Most of the people in my life are incredibly important to me, and I truly have some of the best friends ever.

I hope everyone has a fantastic holiday, and enjoys the time with their families and friends.