I have pink post-its lined up along the top shelf of my desk. A few of them I don’t need right now - a number I wrote for Matt, a shopping list that I actually already bought things from… I should get rid of those! But then there’s my friend Adam’s phone number, a list of materials for a shadow resist gear set for my priest (Yes, yes, nerdiness galore), a list of things to do to help my sister-in-law open up her site for her business. Then there’s two very important ones: what to do for the rest of my immigration forms. Those two little sticky notes tie my stomach in knots every time I see them. I need to get my immigration stuff done very soon, but it’s the kind of thing you wish you could put off forever.

I’ve managed to get little piles in my room of things that I’m in the middle of working on. A pile of forms I need to scan and email for my prize from the notworthit.ca contest. A PHP/MySQL book… well, actually three of them. A pile of magazines I need to go through. My immigration pile. A pile of basic GED books and GED math for finding out what I’ll need to know for my tutoring sessions. A pile of photo albums I want to scan.

I should get to cleaning and catching up on some of these projects. It’s a nice day, maybe I can convince Matt to go out and enjoy the sun in a bit!

Is it just me, or is there a huge lack of respect these days? For each other, for our “elders”, for ourselves… I find that nothing is sacred or special anymore. Teenagers disrespect their elders and authority figures more often than they brush their teeth. Women put their bodies and their sex lives out in the open - both on and off the internet. People air their dirty laundry for perfect strangers to read/hear and know all about. I just feel like between the lack of privacy, the lack of self-respect and the lack of respect for others, society is a mess. I’m hooked on older movies and TV shows because everything seems so happy and simple. I talked to my grandma the other day, and she’s coming on 75 (but don’t tell her I told anyone!) and we talked about what it was like when she was younger. She said life was much simpler then.

One thing in particular that I’ve been watching a lot of is I Love Lucy. I know the show is very situational, but the idea behind it is very much what it was like when the show was being aired. I love every little thing about it, too. It’s cheered me up watching it and helped me feel more secure in myself. I love the respect for others - they say “excuse me” and “please” and even Lucy answers to Ricky with “Yes sir” at times. I’m not saying women have to be subservient peons in a marriage or be too reserved for their own good, but what’s wrong with a bit of modesty now and again?

I think I’ll end that rant there, though. I could say so much more but I’m not sure it’s right to go into it. Instead, I’ll talk about my past few days. I’ve been pretty sick. I got on Vent the other day to do an instance with some friends and the first thing they said when I said “Hi” was “Wow, you don’t sound too good” - and they were right. I felt awful. I skipped the gym today (Well, yesterday, since it’s now after 4 on Saturday…) to get some rest. I won’t be able to go tomorrow (Today?) because of the snow, but I’m not beating myself up. One of the things I talked to the trainer about was the way I treat myself. I don’t give myself a lot of slack a lot of the time. I might not post about it or tell anyone about it but I beat myself up over everything. I need to step outside myself and treat myself like I would treat a patient, or a friend, or a client. I wouldn’t beat up on someone else for taking a break when they weren’t feeling well, so why should I beat myself up? I think I’m finally starting to sort through my emotional mess now. With the help of a few good friends, I’m finally coming together again!

Tomorrow I have a fairly simple to-do list, but it’s stuff I’ve been wanting to do while I’ve been sick. I hope I’m feeling up to doing them, or at least some of them.

• Put clean laundry away.
• Wash, dry and put away two loads of laundry.
• Get food out for supper, and obviously cook it when it comes time to.
• Upload my 365 photos and any others from the last week - I’ve been a bit behind on uploading them even though I’ve taken them.
• Clear memory card. One of the downfalls of having a huge memory card is the fact that I can hold SO many pictures on it that I get lazy and don’t empty it often enough.
• Put dishes away and wash any from the day.
• Karazhan/ZA/whatever my raid group for the night decides to do. I think we may try to go into Molten Core (haha) again at some point too, since the server kept crashing today.

I really wish we had overhead lighting in our bedroom. Right now we’re using the tiniest little lamp that’s on the far side of my desk, and it’s killing my eyes. It’s hard to see anything! I’d love to have a light right in the middle of the ceiling. Oh, well. I just think I need a better light, at least. Maybe that’ll help.

Matt’s mom comes home on Tuesday. I have some major cleaning to do. Not easy when you feel so overwhelmed that you don’t want to do any cleaning! But it’s gotta be done. I don’t want this place to be a pigpen anymore anyway! It feels better when it’s clean.

We’re having major arrangement problems around here. I hate having the TV where it is because cords are everywhere, we can’t figure out a way to plug in the printer, and the lighting is terrible. Not to mention our closet is stuffed with boxes that won’t fit in the storage room! I need to do some major rearranging. So, since I like lists…

- Plug printer in, and plug in to router.
- Stack boxes in storage room (so that they don’t fall over this time) and move some small boxes from the closet in.
- Clean up shelf with alarm clock.
- Do rest of dishes; put away.
- Wash floors in kitchen and bathroom.
- Wash down counters (again).
- Do laundry.
- Organize some kitchen cabinets.
- Clean under desk.
- Vacuum.
- Dust.
- Wash glass: mirrors, windows.
- Organize fridge. Maybe. It’s not too bad.

Whew! Lots to do! I need to get started!

Seriously, today is super gloomy. Sky is grey, looks like it might rain, even feels a bit chilly. It’s getting to be Autumn! Autumn makes me want a pumpkin spice candle and an apple candle. It makes me want to visit an apple orchard. It makes me want to play in leaves, and carve pumpkins, and curl up with a warm blanket and a cup of tea and watch movies with the doorwall (for those who apparently don’t use that word - the sliding door, haha) open, just to smell that Fall smell.

The only thing that I don’t like about Autumn is that it leads to Winter. I hate snow, and cold, and ice. Plus, the year ending always makes me nervous. This time more for other reasons, but I won’t go into them right now, because I’m having a good day.

I have a lot of things to do today in World of Warcraft, and I should get some housework done. I already did a bunch of dishes, which is good, because I really needed to. I had intended to go to the bank today to get a check deposited and get some rolls of quarters for laundry, but it’s too gloomy to walk, and I don’t feel like driving there. Too much of a pain, really. Walking, it’s a straight shot from here to the mall (where the bank is) but driving, not so much. I live on a one-way road, so I have to drive all over the place to get just up the road. It kinda sucks sometimes, but I’ve learned to get around. At least around here!

I keep looking at my basket of things to put away and shrugging it off. I’ll put it away when I have to use the basket for laundry, I guess! It’s not hurting anyone anyway, I suppose.

I had a weird dream last night. Something about my old elementary school, my parents (again together, WTF? I’m starting to think it’s because it’s the way they were when I lived with them, so that’s how I remember them.), and Scrabble. Or something.

Anyway, I have a lot of farming to do, so I should get to that!

PS: Down another pound!

I was up all night. I intended to go to bed, I really did. But then I got involved in organizing my pictures (over 4,000 files at its worst!) and wanted to get a significant chunk of that done. Finally, I decided that I had done enough, and that I was exhausted and wanted to go to bed.

I went to bed and put Employee of the Month on TV, because On-Demand rocks, and I usually fall right to sleep when watching a movie. Not this time, though. I just could not fall asleep! I made it through that movie and put on Running with Scissors but I couldn’t concentrate on it. My ribs started hurting from a very irritating sneeze that wouldn’t come out, and so I got up and stretched my chest out, and decided to go on the computer. I made myself breakfast (rice and milk with tea to drink) and finished up my pictures. I restarted my computer to clear out some weird stuck files, and decided to take a shower, then a relaxing bath.

After this, I managed to feel tired enough to go to sleep! I told Matt that it was only to be a nap, nothing more, and that if he got a call, he needed to wake me up before he left and make sure I got out of bed, and at least on the computer. This way I wouldn’t sleep all day and really screw up my sleeping schedule.

And, here I am! Bright eyed, and bushy-tai… whatever. A bit tired, but not so bad! I need to put my laundry away and put the dishes from last night away. I started organizing my jewelry in a new way, so I need to work on that. I’ve also started fixing some bracelets (they were beaded on wire, but the wire kept cutting the outside of my wrists because it wasn’t finished well, so I’m moving each one to stretchy jewelry string) which I need to finish up.

I’ve decided that I’m going to (eventually) get some fabric and get Matt’s mom’s sewing machine down and try my hand at making this shopping bag for grocery shopping. It’s convenient, and will be great for at least smaller trips. Mew Mew loves plastic bags, but I don’t love waking up to the rustling of them every morning!