So I’m sitting in the room I’m sharing with my sister, and looking at stuff for the diet/exercise program I’m starting. I hear her say, “I’m so fat. I need to lose 15 pounds.” Mind you, the girl probably weighs 50 pounds less than I do. At least. So I turn around and say, “Don’t even say you’re fat, you’re not. I weigh more than you do anyway!” Her response? “Well, I’m just a perfectionist. I have high standards.”

…Too bad my standards are so low.