Sigh.
Posted on March 4th, 2006 @ 12:50 am

First off, my feet are STILL killing me. I tried to wear smaller heels, but that put too much stress on my heels, and so now instead of just the balls of my feet hurting, my whole foot hurts. Plus, all the lifting and walking I do, along with other things, has made all my muscles hurt. My right arm (like my bicep - even though I don’t really have much of one!) is SOOO sore. But I know it’s worth it - I don’t have time to eat, and I’m working out. I’ll lose weight MUCH quicker now.

Thanks for all the supportive comments about my uncle. They still don’t know what happened to him. I’ll post more when I know more, I guess. I really appreciate knowing that I have people there for me.

And going with that topic, I miss Matt horribly. I mean, I miss him being WITH me, in person. I miss having him hold me in his arms, and I miss the way he smelled… He smelled better than any guy I’ve ever met, no joke. I miss everything about him. I can’t wait to hear his voice and feel him near me. It’s gotten better, we’re handling it better. Up until today, that is.

I saw a couple at work today. The guy had his arm around the girl, and he was talking to her, and she was smiling. He pulled her in tight, and looked into her eyes, then he kissed her. He did it a few times. It made me want to cry.

I’ve wanted a guy who would do that for my whole life. I want someone who loves me and isn’t afraid to show it in front of people. It’s not the most important thing, but it would make me go weak, no joke, if I got kissed while waiting in line to buy something.

That being said, it also made me sad for another reason. I miss Matt horribly. I want him to be able to hold ME and hug ME and kiss ME and look into MY eyes. Not a webcam image on a computer screen. I miss him so much - I just wish he was here and everything was good.

On the bright side, now that I have a job we can start the immigration process soon. The sooner we start that, the sooner we get approved. And the sooner we get approved, the sooner we get MARRIED and I become the happiest woman to ever live.

WHY can’t that be NOW?!


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Personal · Work