I had a very rough night last night. Lots of crying, hyperventilating and punching a wall. Whoops. Sometimes this is just too much to handle, and I feel bad for projecting it over on to Matt when that happens. It’s my burden, and I should be able to bear it, but I just can’t sometimes. Thanks a lot to Stacy for talking to me and making me smile. It helps to know that I have a good friend when I’m feeling as down as I did last night. It’s a hard thing to deal with.

Matt’s mom is talking about maybe taking me to see a doctor. I’m afraid to, because I don’t want it to cost a fortune, but I do know that when I was medicated (I was on Wellbutrin for most of high school) that things were easier for me to cope with. I might end up doing that. I don’t know yet though, we’ll see.

Matt’s mom also said today that the apartment allows cats. She said maybe we’d go up to the shelter and try to pick one out and see if there’s a nice one there. This makes me happy. A companion is good.

Anyway, after the rough night last night I just wanted to stay in bed all day and hide from the world. I got a package that my mom sent me that had a letter from a collection company about one of my loans. Needless to say, I’m scared. But I’ve got to be strong. So I got up this morning and showered and got dressed. Sometimes you just have to force yourself to do the scary things, right?