I’ve decided that going out is important, even if it is by myself. So, I went to the lake today and laid out on the beach! It was a bit weird, alone, but it felt nice anyway. So nice, in fact, that I intend to go back many times! I still have a month of hot days left, right? If not more! So yeah. The more I get out, the better I’ll feel. I hope.

Speaking of going alone… I suppose I should preface this with something. I love my online and offline friends. I love you all, very much. You’re all fantastic people, and I’d be crazy if it weren’t for you!

That said… I’m going through a bit of a rough patch in my life. It’s like a pre-mid-life crisis or something. I’m at an awkward age. Everyone speaks of awkward ages like it’s the years you go through puberty, but this one feels much more awkward to me than I did then. Everyone who knows me well knows that my baby fever is insatiable. But I can’t get away from all things baby! All my friends have children, and people online have children, and I swear if I didn’t know better, I’d think there is not one woman my age that is baby-less at the moment.

Now this isn’t meant to offend anyone, but I need to get it off my chest. I just have a hard time dealing with trying to find excitement and happiness while being childless when in my face constantly there’s the reminders of what a joy it is to be a mother. I’m so happy that all my friends have this joy, and I support them fully. I just think I need to figure out how to meet people more like me, who already know how to enjoy their time without constantly thinking BABY BABY BABY.

This isn’t being said because I intend to cut anyone out of my life. It’s not being said to hurt anyone’s feelings, or object to anyone’s life decisions. I just wanted to give an explanation as to why I have been (and possibly will continue to be) so distant lately. It’s nothing personal.