I’m feeling very down right now. I’ve been feeling it a bit for a couple days now, but it’s pretty bad tonight. I think it’s partly hormonal and partly due to my splitting headache that I’ve had all day, but I don’t know that for sure. For all I know, it could be some weird sense of impending doom!

Really, though, I’ve had a few things the past few days that are getting to me. I’m feeling social, and craving… people. Which sounds cannibalistic, but I mean it in a purely non-eating way. I was supposed to go to the beach the other day, but the person I was going with never called, and didn’t answer when I called them, and I ended up sitting home all day when I really wanted to go out. Is it too much to ask to have a drink or go to the beach or… anything? I swear there must be more people around here that aren’t up to their limit on friendships. I hate sitting here at my desk all day. I hate feeling alone. I hate not wanting to sign up for raids on the off-chance that I might miraculously have someone to go out with for the night, only to find out I could’ve gone and had a chance at loot. At the rate I’m going, I’ll have every piece of gear in the game before I go out to the bar for a night with a friend.

Another reason I’m frustrated is that my grandma sent me an email saying that she’s been trying to call me, and that nobody answers the phone. I’m not going to answer the phone at 10:30 at night, or every time it rings. At 10:30, I’m either raiding, sleeping, or trying to spend some much-needed time with Matt. Tonight? I had a headache and didn’t want to have the same conversation that we have every single time she calls. “How are you? How is Matt? We went here, did this, did that. Do you talk to your mom? Do you talk to your dad? This is what he did that irritated people. So, when are you coming to visit? When are you moving back?” I might understand if people were genuinely interested in my life, but really, nobody cares. I don’t do anything interesting anyway. I don’t have stories to tell that people would understand unless they play WoW with me. I don’t have things to be excited about or brag about. Yes, I could go on about Mew Mew and how cute she is, but who cares?

Why is it that the people I want to just leave me be for a while won’t, but I can’t make any contact with people I’d like to spend time with? And when did making friends get to be so hard?

I don’t discount my online friendships in any way. I hope all of you know that. I just need to get out on the town for a night. I need friends that are nearby, and in the same stage of life as I am, and I need to have fun and get away from this sitting here, being fat, feeling glum.