Matt recently bought The Orange Box so that he could play Half-Life 2: Episode 2 and Team Fortress 2. Included in this was a game that sparked my interest: Portal.

Portal™ is a new single player game from Valve. Set in the mysterious Aperture Science Laboratories, Portal has been called one of the most innovative new games on the horizon and will offer gamers hours of unique gameplay.

The game is designed to change the way players approach, manipulate, and surmise the possibilities in a given environment; similar to how Half-Life® 2’s Gravity Gun innovated new ways to leverage an object in any given situation.

Players must solve physical puzzles and challenges by opening portals to maneuvering objects, and themselves, through space.

Absolutely awesome game. I beat it the other night, and started working on some of the advanced levels. They’re difficult, but still fun. I like that you have to think to do it, instead of mindlessly wandering around killing things. Don’t get me wrong, I like that stuff as well, but once in a while brain power is so much more fun to use!

So, I had a Smirnoff tonight left over from a few weeks ago. Not enough to get me drunk or reasonably tipsy but there is a buzz going on. Of course, you’d think I’d had the Smirnoff before I burned my finger on the stove. Yes, that’s right. The funniest part? I burned it making comfort food. Tomato soup and grilled cheese. Went to cut my sandwich and managed to hit my finger on the burner. Fantastic, huh? It’s got a little line across it now. The cat was snuggling it. I think she knew it hurt.

I think I may do some grocery shopping tomorrow. Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on how lazy I feel.

I’m starting to appreciate things in my life a lot more. I appreciate Matt so much right now. It’d be hard not to, with him being so fantastic and always right here when I need him. I appreciate Mew Mew, because, well, she’s the thing that makes me smile the most during the day. I appreciate all the work I’m putting in to losing weight, and how I’m seeing such progress now. I’m starting to finally get out of my own way, and I love it. I spend time doing more than playing World of Warcraft, though I still love it, and I’m starting to like myself more. Which is good, because it’s been apparent that people won’t like me until I like me!

Anyway, I dunno. I’m just starting to force myself to see things in a new light. Would you believe I even answered a “private name, private number” phone call today? Me, who is terrified of the telephone. Not that I’ll be doing that any more often than I need to, because usually it’s telemarketers anyway, but still. Yay, me, and yay, progress!

Mew Mew is growing quite the personality. I say “growing” because it’s just starting to emerge. Just in the past month, we’ve discovered that she loves boxes. She lays in every box or basket she can find!

We discovered while playing around with her inside this plastic box that looking underneath it while she’s laying down is just about the funniest sight ever! We call her Turkey Cat now when she’s in the box, or Box Kitty.

Also, see the little string in the picture below? That’s her “pet” string. She carries it around the apartment by one end, dragging the other along like there’s something on it. She lays it in “her” box when she’s not dragging it around, and takes it from us as soon as we pick it up. It’s so cute!

She knows when I wake up in the morning, and sits on my desk meowing at me and rubbing up against me, and then watches while I weigh myself. Then she follows me in the kitchen and begs (loudly) for food and water. She does that about three times a day - she is very vocal about her food needs! If she doesn’t have water, she just tries to drink it out of the glass I’ve always got on my desk. It’s funny. I really don’t think I could ask for a cooler cat, seriously.

It’s a good thing I have such an awesome husband. Otherwise I’d be pretty lonely. And then nobody would be around for me! Well, there’s Mew Mew too. But other than nuzzle up to me when she’s hungry she’s pretty much uncaring. Which is fine, because, y’know, she’s a cat!

I’ve had some jitters for about an hour now, which I’m blaming on the cup of tea that I had this afternoon. I always get jittery after drinking tea. Maybe it’s because it’s very rare that I have caffeine, so my body doesn’t know what it’s doing.

The sun feels great right now. It’s shining in the window, and it’s starting to get chilly out (yay, autumn!) so the warm sun feels nice. Only thing about it is that it makes me wish it was summer again so I could go lay on the beach. I think I’m progressing, though. Mentally and emotionally. I had a huge setback last night, and I managed to get out of it anyway.

My dad was giving me a hard time. He knows how to get to me. He talks to me like we’re okay, and then drops a bomb on me. Instead of taking it, or trying to defend myself, I just said “I’m hanging up now. It was nice talking to you.” and put the phone down on him. Both myself and Matt have spent a bunch of time since then convincing me that it was the right thing to do. See, that’s how it works. I do something that makes me stronger and more independent, and then I feel guilty about it. But honestly, if I had my choice, I’d be able to start ignoring things like that, wipe my past from my memory and start completely fresh. I can’t do that, because family is family and I’d be an awful person if I just wrote them all off entirely, but I would like a clean slate. I’m so tired of trying to hold a decent conversation with someone and then being asked when I’m going back there. I don’t want to go back, and I can’t tell them that, because they’ll give me a hard time. It’s no longer about the law, the rules, the immigration stuff. I just want to get into the groove of things here, pull myself from the hole that everyone and everything back there has put me in, and move on with my life. I want to be in control, finally. That shouldn’t be too much to ask, I wouldn’t think.

I’ve been working more on my blanket that I started ages ago. I want to finish it so I have something nice and comfy to cuddle up with. I might post a picture later today, if I feel like it. I’m so lazy with my pictures. I’ve been leaving them on the camera for days, then tossing them in the folders (organized, of course) and not doing anything with them. Meh. Once I start getting back outside and doing things again (if, I guess, not once) I’ll start taking more pictures. I definitely want to go do a few things this fall, if I can convince Matt to do them with me.

Anyway, I think I’m going to get back to Everquest now. I’m trying to make the most of the free month that I’ve got, and it’s giving me a much-needed break from World of Warcraft. At least it kills the time when I’m bored!

Oh, also, I’ve now lost eleven pounds from when I first started seriously “dieting” - what an improvement! I think I’m finally on the right track.