Mew Mew is just like every other cat I’ve ever had in one way, and one way only - she always knows when I need a buddy. She’s been laying here on my computer for the past 20 minutes, just laying and letting me pet her.

Cats are good friends for that reason. They’re there when you need them, without judging or getting irritated, unless you poke them or something, but that’s your own fault.

It’s strange that it’s 3:00 and people are still sleeping. Matt and I may go see his brother in the hospital. It’s up to Matt, because I don’t know how to get there or anything, but I think it’d be nice to go see him. You know, considering he just had surgery and all.

I haven’t mailed out my Christmas cards yet, which probably makes me a bad Christmas Card writer, but in light of recent events, I think it’s a good thing that I didn’t. Save me some stamps!

Anyway, do you believe in New Years’ Resolutions? I don’t, really. But one big thing that I’m going to do, starting now, is change things for myself. I was putting an emphasis on the wrong types of relationships, and I didn’t even realize it until now. The people that care about me are important to me, and instead of looking for new ones, the relationships with the ones I have now can be better. Why try to be someone that I’m not to impress someone that, quite frankly, I’ll never be good enough for? Not worth it. I might as well just take control of my life and be happy myself!

Anyway, this is getting boring, so I’m going to stop and lounge around being lazy. It’s a lazy kind of day.

I have one more reason to hate Myspace now. Not like I needed one, but still. Every time I try to visit someone’s page, it crashes my browser (both Flock and Firefox!) so I’m pretty much done with it. Not like I used it much anymore anyway!

Speaking of frustrations, I’m very frustrated with a friend of mine, but I can’t go into why. I just don’t know what the deal is anymore. I think my problem is that I’m just so desperate for friends that when one is a not-so-good one, I don’t feel I can “afford” to let the friendship die off. That’s been my problem for a very long time. Don’t worry, though. If you’re thinking it’s you, you’re probably wrong.

Matt and I did a bunch of our Christmas shopping yesterday. We have a few people to shop for still, but there’s still a week and a half left, so I’m not worried. It’s nice to actually be able to give gifts this year, instead of like last year when we couldn’t. The year before that was even worse, though. We had to save our money for our trip, so we rented movies at Blockbuster instead of buying each other gifts. I’m just grateful to be with him for another year. It’s nice having him to depend on.

Anyway, I’m getting exhausted, and I want to get up fairly early tomorrow, so it’s off to bed and to watch House.

I feel down. I’m not sure if it’s depression, or boredom, or both. Probably both. I’ve been upbeat and peppy (or trying to be) for the past few days. I’m not sure if it suits me anymore.

Jane and I went to a tavern around the corner on Saturday and had some fun. Way too much to drink, but we didn’t even pay for all of them. It’s the first time someone has bought me a drink that I didn’t know! It was some strange milestone in a way, I guess. I’ve decided not to go out drinking much anymore, though. As fun as it is to get out there and dance and have some fun, I can have fun without alcohol in my system, too. The bloated feeling the next day and the extra pounds are so not worth it. Not to mention the price of the tab at the end of the night.

The guy we were talking to and Jane both told me that I’m the kind of person everyone likes to talk to. Apparently I’m happy, bubbly and fun. I think it was the alcohol talking. Though, I was very bubbly and happy in high school. Where exactly did that person go? These days I’m lucky if I leave my bedroom.

I guess I’m still just trying to figure out where I fit, or something. Who knows. I just feel lonely. Which is funny, because I’ve seen more people in the past two weeks than I have in the past two years before that combined.

I’m in an organize-y mood today. I probably won’t get a lot done, but my computer will be organized. Plus, I want to sort through all of the pictures on my memory card and clear my camera. I’m so glad that we got such a big memory card! I was getting tired of having 13 pictures to take. It’s so much easier when you can take a bunch and then decide later what to keep and what to get rid of. I should start taking photos again but I can never seem to find anything to take photos of. I should just start taking some of everything, who knows, I might find something good!

I’ve got a pretty icky cough. Despite this, I feel fine. I was crazy bloated the other day after going out drinking and dancing, but I have eaten pretty well and drank plenty of water in the days since then and am now down to my pre-party weight. Go me! I’m still at a bit of a standstill but right now I”m not focusing too much on the scale. I’m doing weight training more than cardio right now at the gym so I’ll see the scale go up, but I might be losing fat instead, so I’m not too concerned.

Matt’s on vacation still, and I’m loving having the time with him. It’s nice having him here. I’m hoping before he goes back to work that we can go out and have a nice dinner or something. We have to go out anyway to get my fingerprints done so I can send them away.

What I really need to do right now is laundry. The problem with doing laundry isn’t so much the laundry itself. It’s the having to time it perfectly and go downstairs with a huge load of laundry, and then get down there to switch it as soon as its done so nobody tosses it aside, and then hoping the dryer actually dries it instead of only half-drying it. If it does that, then I either have damp clothes or I have to spend more money to get it to dry, which just sucks. I definitely miss having a washer and dryer in the house. I wouldn’t even mind if it was on the same FLOOR somewhere!

When we went down to pay the rent yesterday, the super told us that there were two apartments in the building that needed to have the floors redone this week. What are the odds that, out of about 200 apartments in my building, one of those two is right above mine? It wasn’t great waking up to hammering and pounding right above our room at 9:30. Ugh.