I was so excited for dinner tonight. I cooked spaghetti noodles and had some more of my mother’s wonderful spaghetti sauce ready and heated up. I put it in the bowl, top it with some parmesan cheese, and start walking back to my bedroom, as I was supposed to go to ZA tonight and had to be at my computer. I timed it perfectly. Except…

As I was about to walk into my door, I burned my finger on the bottom of the bowl. Instant reaction? “It’s hot! Let go!” Before I could tell my brain to shut up and hold on to it, the bowl had flown out of my hands and landed on the floor… face down. Spaghetti sauce, all over our light grey carpet.

Thank goodness that when I logged in to World of Warcraft I found out that half the raid (okay, three people) had decided not to come that night, because I spent the next two hours scrubbing the carpet. Thank goodness for Shout Ultra Gel because otherwise I’d probably be scrubbing it out with my tears around now. I’d tried everything before that worked. Club soda. Cold water. Shout vacuum stuff. A tiny bit of Peroxide. I read online and tried to do every single thing I could find, and only as a last resort did I grab the Ultra Gel, and it worked wonders. It’s almost completely gone now, and tomorrow once the carpet dries from my torture and my fingers return to their non-raw state (not chemical burns, just really really dry from the cleaning products and soap), I’ll be using the vacuum stuff again to get the last bit of stain off of the carpet.

Needless to say, I didn’t have any spaghetti. There’s some left, but am I really to trust myself with it? There’s only so much carpet in the apartment to ruin, what’s next, my clothes?

“When you’re young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don’t leap at all because there’s not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there’s no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?” (Sex and the City)

Do you ever stop before making a huge decision in your life and wonder “What if?” Has that ever stopped you from doing something?

I’ve made a lot of huge decisions in my life so far. When the time comes to make it, you have to weigh your options. Does the reward outweigh the risk you’re making? The biggest decision I made was the decision to move out here. Matt and I have our ups and downs like any couple, but I would never in a million years give it up. I wouldn’t move back. I wouldn’t start over. Given the chance, I wouldn’t change a thing. My husband is there for me when I need him, and is everything to me.

He’s the person I come home to on the rare occasion that I go out, and I’m the person who greets him when he comes in from work. He’s the one who surprises me with a taco salad, or makes my plate at suppertime, or smells the air and makes “yummy noises” when I cook. He’s the one who hugs me when I cry and the one who tells me everything will be alright when I get nervous.

I think back and I can’t imagine not doing this. If I hadn’t done what I did, I wouldn’t be here now. I wouldn’t be in this relationship with a man who loves me with his whole heart. I wouldn’t be finding out who I am, or working on my confidence. I don’t know what would have happened, but I do know I wouldn’t be here.

So every day, I think about my choices. I don’t wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t made them, but instead I remind myself that I made the best one for me. I am truly happy with my life this far, and how many people do you know that can say the same?