I don’t know why, but it’s freezing in our room right now. I wonder if the rest of the apartment is as cold as this… Ok, nope, it’s not quite this cold. I wonder why. Our room is warmer than the rest of them in the summer and cooler than the rest of them when it’s cold out. It makes no sense!

Went to the gym today. Did ten minutes on the bike and went in for Body Attack and only made it halfway through before my hips and back were hurting so bad that I had to leave. I was disappointed, but not too disappointed, because hey, I made it there, right? That’s got to be a step in the right direction. If I’m not too sore tomorrow I might go again and do weights and some cardio. Maybe.

I feel like I need to get out more and do things. I think this summer will be good for me though - relaxing in the sun, going to the beach, hanging out in the apartment. I have plans, but nothing too serious. We’ll see how it goes!

Last but not least: 3 days until Sex and the City! *squeal*

I was so excited for dinner tonight. I cooked spaghetti noodles and had some more of my mother’s wonderful spaghetti sauce ready and heated up. I put it in the bowl, top it with some parmesan cheese, and start walking back to my bedroom, as I was supposed to go to ZA tonight and had to be at my computer. I timed it perfectly. Except…

As I was about to walk into my door, I burned my finger on the bottom of the bowl. Instant reaction? “It’s hot! Let go!” Before I could tell my brain to shut up and hold on to it, the bowl had flown out of my hands and landed on the floor… face down. Spaghetti sauce, all over our light grey carpet.

Thank goodness that when I logged in to World of Warcraft I found out that half the raid (okay, three people) had decided not to come that night, because I spent the next two hours scrubbing the carpet. Thank goodness for Shout Ultra Gel because otherwise I’d probably be scrubbing it out with my tears around now. I’d tried everything before that worked. Club soda. Cold water. Shout vacuum stuff. A tiny bit of Peroxide. I read online and tried to do every single thing I could find, and only as a last resort did I grab the Ultra Gel, and it worked wonders. It’s almost completely gone now, and tomorrow once the carpet dries from my torture and my fingers return to their non-raw state (not chemical burns, just really really dry from the cleaning products and soap), I’ll be using the vacuum stuff again to get the last bit of stain off of the carpet.

Needless to say, I didn’t have any spaghetti. There’s some left, but am I really to trust myself with it? There’s only so much carpet in the apartment to ruin, what’s next, my clothes?

“When you’re young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don’t leap at all because there’s not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there’s no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?” (Sex and the City)

Do you ever stop before making a huge decision in your life and wonder “What if?” Has that ever stopped you from doing something?

I’ve made a lot of huge decisions in my life so far. When the time comes to make it, you have to weigh your options. Does the reward outweigh the risk you’re making? The biggest decision I made was the decision to move out here. Matt and I have our ups and downs like any couple, but I would never in a million years give it up. I wouldn’t move back. I wouldn’t start over. Given the chance, I wouldn’t change a thing. My husband is there for me when I need him, and is everything to me.

He’s the person I come home to on the rare occasion that I go out, and I’m the person who greets him when he comes in from work. He’s the one who surprises me with a taco salad, or makes my plate at suppertime, or smells the air and makes “yummy noises” when I cook. He’s the one who hugs me when I cry and the one who tells me everything will be alright when I get nervous.

I think back and I can’t imagine not doing this. If I hadn’t done what I did, I wouldn’t be here now. I wouldn’t be in this relationship with a man who loves me with his whole heart. I wouldn’t be finding out who I am, or working on my confidence. I don’t know what would have happened, but I do know I wouldn’t be here.

So every day, I think about my choices. I don’t wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t made them, but instead I remind myself that I made the best one for me. I am truly happy with my life this far, and how many people do you know that can say the same?

I’m trying to jump-start my creativity again. My 365Days shots are getting dull and lifeless. I end up thinking at the last minute “Ehhhh… I need to take a shot for today” and snapping something hideous and unflattering and in bad lighting. I just don’t have the creative drive right now! I think part of it comes with how I feel about my appearance, but that’s not changing so whatever. I need to focus on trying to get the best shots I can for today.

Anyway, in an attempt to, like I said, jump-start my creativity again, I’ve joined two groups on Flickr: Monthly Scavenger Hunt and The Monthly Scavenger Hunt. Two different lists, two separate sets of things to find and photograph. This month, my list might be a bit bare. Next month, it might get better. Who knows?

Another thing that I joined a while ago is Flickr Group Roulette. I love the group and seeing the photos but I can never seem to figure out a creative idea that I won’t look like an idiot in for half of the themes. I need to start trying harder, I think!

Obviously, it’s a great deal to a woman’s heart, too. Including my own.

I need to vent. After this morning, I had a rough day. The middle wasn’t so bad. After I got my laundry out of the dryer (still wet, mind you, because our apartment complex is cheap and won’t get good dryers) and took forever to fold it, I had a rather good day. I did some PvP with my guildmates (friends), I watched two episodes of House with Matt, ate a yummy dinner, started a new neighbourhood in The Sims 2… The day was going good.

Then… I started raiding. I’m in Hyjal tonight, which isn’t very shadowpriest-friendly to begin with. But my computer went berserk and I’ve died on both bosses we’ve killed so far, I’m way far down on the meters (yes, damage meters - they’re not everything but it’s a good judge of if I’m pulling my weight) and I’m generally feeling like tonight, raiding sucks. Oh, and one of my headphones is shorting out again and making freaky noises and not working. Why can headphones not last for me? I take good care of them. They’re always put away and in a safe spot. So why do they die?

Also, tomorrow I’m restarting this “diet” and “exercise” thing. I am so tired of shooting myself in the foot every time I start doing well. It just gets so tiring after a while that I want to give up. I just want to be happy, you know? I want to be content with myself.

* Quote from Francesco Guicciardini