Went for a free consult again today with a personal trainer. Lots of tears later, I discovered that I am heavier and just shy of my absolute ceiling for weight - I can’t go any higher than this. I have to stop it. My body fat percentage is also four higher than it was the last time I went. FOUR PERCENT. That’s a big number, really. I know exactly how many pounds I have in fat but I don’t feel comfortable posting that here, so just know that it’s large and that I know what I need to do.

We talked about food. I’ll be keeping a food diary every day of everything that I eat. I need to keep track of it so that I remember to eat. It’s not an intentional starvation thing or a crazy diet, I just… forget. So I need to work on that! I’m also working on eating healthier foods when I do eat. Like right now? I’m snacking on a salad with balsamic vinaigrette dressing. Yum!

Good news, though, is that my blood pressure is normal. I don’t know how it happened that someone my size has normal blood pressure, but I do! My heart rate was a bit high but that’s because I was crying and emotional, so that helps explain it. I’m quite proud! However, the rough news…

I have to start going to the gym five days or more per week. Five. That’s a lot of gym time. I’m thinking my plan will be Monday, Wednesday, Friday for weights, and Monday through Friday for cardio. I’m going to plan out exactly what I want to do in advance so I don’t slack off. I need to do this, for myself. I need to be my own trainer. It’s not going to be easy, but I can do it, right?